i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
