Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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