I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
