True but thats because hes a fetus.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
