you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
