i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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