If that was your dad, he is hot
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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