Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
