K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's just like the Real World with babies
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
