areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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