either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My dick has a subreddit
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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