i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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