i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize