can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
