just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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