bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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