every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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