Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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