two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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