you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
