Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
