There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
