He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
