There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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