My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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