I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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