Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
