Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize