i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
