Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
