Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize