Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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