I accidentally had phone sex last night
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
