theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
if only i could text you this smell
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize