if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
party gras won. party gras always wins.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
