brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize