That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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