They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
