Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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