I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
