dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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