My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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