Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The ass gains better be worth it
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