Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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