its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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