after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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