careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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