Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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