I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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