420 ftw
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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