Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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