it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
