she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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