she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
