someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
