i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize