You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
