I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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