So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
