I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
