You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
