There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize