Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
