My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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