i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
