we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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