Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
