We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
