Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
