we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A+ Viking dick
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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