420 ftw
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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