my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
