sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
