Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
