this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Your cock deserves a montage
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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