And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
