Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He better not be in your backpack
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
