my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
