Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
