yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
